Living with Purpose When Balance is Elusive
The other day I sent John a text that said "You know you're married to a triathlete when you daydream about guys who play beer pong and fantasy football."
He responded with "really?"
I made some crude comment about him preferring a metal frame between his legs.
Then he suggested I wear carbon fiber underwear.
This is my life.
I looked at my hand yesterday and noticed the faint tan line around my ring finger of my left hand. I forgot to put my wedding rings on.
A few weeks ago a friend asked how it was going leading up to "the race". I joked that I was stifling my hysteria.
Stifling hysteria takes a lot of energy.
I have happily Sherpa'd along while John has trained. I enjoy leading a healthy lifestyle and if my circumstances were different right now, I would be running right along side him. John is happy and that makes me happy. It really hasn't been terrible.
But at this point, I need a break. I really thought the last month leading into Ironman Lake Placid would be easier since we were nearing the end but it hasn't been (for me).
I want to talk about something other than triathlon. I would like life to be less about him and more about me. Eighteen months is a long time to be focused on one thing.
I find humor in the fact that I received three requests for a post on how we balance John's training and life all within the last week.
It's probably not the best time for me to tackle the subject of balance but I also need to live my truth. And you, my readers need to hear the truth.
It's why I blog. To be a truth teller in a society where the truth inadvertently gets set aside for the most "likeable" pictures and stories.
I am tired and feeling slightly under appreciated. Not because my husband is an a-hole but because it's hard to live with someone whose focus is singularly elsewhere for an extended period of time.
For a long time I have chased "balance." I don't know if it is elusive or just an illusion. I know when I chase the balance dream I feel frustrated. As if I am taking a few steps forward only to stumble backward.
Instead, I choose to live with purpose. My purpose, John's purpose, our families purpose - they are all intertwined. Purpose propels us forward. Purpose focuses us on WHY we are doing something not what we are doing or what is being sacrificed.
Purpose is attainable. Purpose is individual and collective. Purpose is inspiring and motivating. Purpose is authentic.
Like everything else in life, living with purpose takes dedication and consistency. Some days will be easy. Like the days I accomplish all I set out to do. Other days I will feel like I have sacrificed some of my purpose for another family members purpose. Is that imbalance? Nope, that's just life.
I know everyone wants to know HOW to live a more balanced life but to that I say focus on "the WHY".
WHY are you here?
WHY do you do what you do?
WHY do you have the vision you have?
WHY do you have the goals you have?
WHAT do you BELIEVE in?
No tips, tricks or lessons learned today. All I have for you is encouragement to live an inspired life. A life with passion and purpose. A life where you don't feel the need to chase elusive dreams. A life where you live your why.
Well, maybe one tip. Do you know what's at the center of my purpose, John's purpose, and my families purpose?
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My friend Allie wrote a post about balance recently called I Choose Not to Have Balance. She makes some good points and there was good conversation in the comment section.