What Missing A Goal Has Taught Me
As someone who helps people establish and achieve goals for a living I figured I had this goal setting thing pretty much wrapped up. I am achievement oriented, focused and have a proven track record for completing a wide range of goals. In 2014, I took my goal setting more seriously than in years past and really cleared the decks for my success and the success of my family. This year I set Family, Sport, and Life goals and do you know which one I have missed? The one tied to my own personal accomplishments. It's a bit frustrating.
I am rocking my family goals. The A Team are firmly on a health and wellness path. They have individually set health and fitness goals for the summer. They started bringing lunch to school 80% of the time. They participate in preparing healthy meals for themselves. We visit the farmer's market regularly so they can learn where their food comes from and have their very own food adventures. Most importantly, we have focused them daily on our family's 5 Healthy Habits.
My goal to support John getting to Ironman Lake Placid is wrapping up and I took my role as Sherpa Wife seriously. I have planned and prepped travel. I have filled the house with groceries week after week. Then there was the time I realized his race nutrition didn't get here in time, I handled it. And the time he trained for almost 20 hours during a holiday weekend. I handled it. Laundry is clean. Kids are wrangled. My sanity is somewhat in tact. I have managed to stifle my hysteria knowing the situation is temporary. (Three more weeks people!).
Life is being managed. We all know where we are suppose to be on any given day and everyone has what they need. Schedules are scheduled.
I am also laying the ground work for some business goals for next year that I didn't discuss here on the blog. They are going as best they can with a full time job, and the above mentioned activities.
What got missed?
The goal I missed this year, to run the Cherry Blossom 10 miler, which was the only goal set for myself. As small as this goal may seem to some, it meant something bigger to me. This was a goal designed to push me outside my comfort zone to foster personal growth. It was as much a mental challenge as it was physical. I wanted to achieve something I am not sure I am capable of achieving physically. I suffered through all the training and then got Pneumonia a week before the race. While this happened in March, it still stings.
As we hit the half year mark I am sitting here wondering:
Did I fail?
Did I meet expectations since the reason for the miss was out of my control?
Where do I go from here?
What Missing a Goal Has Taught Me:
Evaluate all the pieces to the puzzle before determining wins and losses. I didn't meet my personal goal because I got sick. Since I was disregarding the warning signs, this was life's way of throwing me a jab. As in jab, jab. Then came the right hook - Adrenal fatigue/Hypo Thyroid. Any lofty fitness goals for the remainder of the year are off the table. I have spent the better part of the last two months trying to fight this. Licking my wounds and being a bit irreverent. It's time to own it and move on,
Take away the positives
In my opinion there is always a silver lining, find it. I missed my goal but not the message. The message is loud and clear. Lifestyle changes are needed and they aren't going to happen overnight. The disappointment of missing this goal has taught me something. For me, that is success.
There are important lessons to be learned if you listen carefully. Listen to your heart, your gut, your thoughts or maybe the feedback is coming from an external source like a trusted friend or mentor. If you believe in a higher power, listen for that message. I think we have a tendency to panic when we aren't meeting the expectations we have set for ourselves. If you can't hear the message, step away and do something else for a while. Or if you are like me, you are just plain stubborn and don't want to hear it.
Once you assessed the missed goal, searched for positives, and listened to critical feedback, it's time to re-calibrate. If you met 80% of your goal, maybe that's enough. Then the feedback is used for future goals. Maybe you need to establish new goals depending on where you are in the year. Either way, you will need to reset your expectations of yourself and the situation. I had to make peace with the missed goal and move on, redirecting my focus to recovery instead of training. This is turning into a foundational year so I have something to build on for next year.
We are our worst critics. I listen to how people talk to themselves and it pains me. I usually ask them to show themselves the same kindness they show others. I am guilty of this as well. As I sat on the Naturopath's couch this week discussing my protocols for the Adrenal Fatigue, she cautioned me on how I was talking to myself. Touche!
One way to reframe how we talk to ourselves is to focus on the situation, not the person. A simple shift in focus often removes the desire to play the blame game.
I know some of you are dreaming big. I am too. One thing I have learned this year is life is too short to play it safe. Keep on keepin' on!
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