Defining Bold Leadership
Hey, hey Bold Leaders. Welcome to The Bold Leadership Revolution Podcast,
I’m your host Tara Newman and I have a passion for helping everyday humans perform in extraordinary ways. This is the place where we dish on everything from mental toughness to emotional wellbeing and what it takes to really perform your best at a high level. We are here to help you embrace your ambition and leave that grind behind.
Today we’re talking about bold leadership and why leaders need other leaders. Please don’t expect for me to share this with you in a nicely sewn up 10-word sentence. Nope, that’s not really my style.
Instead, I’m going to share a story or two and speak straight from the heart. My heart is where this message lives and if you have listened to previous episodes you know YOU are the reason I wake up in the morning.
Recently, I was attending a mastermind retreat with MY mastermind. The one I participate in not the one I run. The woman running this retreat, Laura Wright from Epic at Sales, asked a fantastic question of all the participants.
What would make you unfuckablewith?
My turn in the hot seat was on the second day so I witnessed three women go before me and answer this question.
This question was all I could think about because I was sitting in judgment of my response. My initial, gut reaction, which is ALWAYS the right one was “I AM unfuckablewith. But man, that felt cocky and arrogant.
That’s an old story of mine. A long time ago, when I was 22 and in my first job, I had an incredibly traumatic experience with an aggressive, patriarchal leader who told me I was cocky and arrogant. Maybe I was. I don’t really remember. I do remember trying my very best to stand firmly in my shoes with confidence as a scared 22-year-old. I remember how horrified and GUTTED I was when he told me I was cocky and arrogant.
So, as I sat there thinking I AM Unfuckablewith. I know this. I have proof. I also judged myself for not being humble. Am I out of integrity here? If I live by the mantra to be helpful, human, and humble, am I in alignment.
The other day I found a post on Instagram from the account Fuckology. I swear, almost every post could be written by me. They are brilliant. And they defined Unfuckablewith as:
When you’re truly at peace and in touch with yourself, and nothing anyone says or does bothers you, and no negativity or drama can touch you.
I read this an thought THIS is BOLD Leadership.
Back to my hot seat…
As I sit in the chair with all eyes on me, I can feel my anxiousness about looking these women in the eyes and declaring my truth: I AM unfuckablewith.
I know this. I’m certain about this.
I look at each woman and look at Laura, in these brief seconds, I’m still hesitating. And then Laura looks at me and says “YOU are unfuckablewith.” The women around the circle nodded their heads yes.
It was the greatest moment of receiving that I have possibly ever had. To be truly seen for who I am and what I stand for.
I have always been bold. I have always paid the price for my boldness. It’s taken me decades to make peace with the fact that I am very different than most of my peers. And when you’re different you attract attention whether you like it or not. It’s not always positive as your boldness will most likely intimidate and make others feel uncomfortable.
I’ve been the bitch. People tell me I’m intimidating which is SO the opposite of how I feel I show up. In the office, my boss would look at me and say “ok, you be the bad cop.”
For all of you bold leaders, you will understand what I say next and for all of you who reach out and tell me that your word of the year is BOLD, know this…
For some, your very existence is an inspiration and a motivation which puts you on a pedestal you cannot possibly remain balanced on.
For others, your very existence is a constant reminder of their own scarcity and lack.
For the few, you are a welcome ally in a world hell-bent on status quo and mediocrity.
Coaching is a funny thing. Coaches are here as a guide, a sounding board, a partner. We are here to co-create with our clients.
We also are trained to have non-attachment to our client's goals. The client is in charge of their sessions. I can’t want a specific goal for my client no matter how capable I believe they are. Their goals are their goals. I’m here to help them leverage and resource their gifts to achieve THEIR GOAL.
Yet, if I’m being honest, I have a very fervent wish for all leaders -- not just my clients. It’s that when the roller coaster ride called life and entrepreneurship starts up, they raise their hands and opt off the ride. That they have the confidence, mental strength, and emotional fortitude to stand on the platform and wave to all the nice folks taking the ride. Thanks but no thanks say the bold leaders.
When I close my eyes and visualize the women coming into The BRAVE Society, I see Amazonian Warriors standing shoulder to shoulder like in the Wonder Woman movie. Powerful, strong, bold women to have each other’s backs. Because women, we need more of this. More standing in support of each other, lifting each other up and cheering each other on. And yeah, protecting our flanks from those who look to tear us down out of fear.
When I close my eyes and visualize the people who will be attending my Bold Leadership Mini-Sabbatical in Tulum in April 2019, I see a league of superheroes walking along the beach shoulder to shoulder.
Our world is one of conformity, assimilation, and going with the crowd. That’s NOT leadership. That’s following and fitting in.
Have you ever wondered why so many wish to be BOLDER? Why this is a common “word of the year” among so many smart and ambitious people?
We weren’t raised to be BOLD. We aren’t being taught how to truly lead. Many of the people I work with haven’t been developed to be leaders, yet here they are running businesses. Excellent technicians as Michael Gerber, author of The E-Myth would note.
Everyone’s looking at me to lead and I don’t feel like a leader. If I had a penny for every time I heard a CEO say that to me, I’d be a wealthy woman.
It wasn’t until my second year in business that I did something that changed everything. It was making a decision around what was going to be the tip of my sword (again, hat tip to Laura Wright)
It was January 2016 and all I kept hearing from predominantly “online entrepreneurs” was that nobody was going to buy leadership. And god help me if I used the terms leadership development or performance. NOBODY understood that. People understood “get more clients”. People understood “make 6 figures in 90 days” People understood the passive income pitches of making all this money while sitting on your couch eating bonbons.
But leadership...no thanks.
In true BOLD leader form, I didn't care.
Developing leaders to be bold beyond their belief is my core competency so I started to brand myself around BOLD LEADERSHIP.
And guess what?
People took notice. People raised their hand and said yes to growing and running their business from a place of intentionality and discernment required for BOLD leadership.
They became more concerned with business fundamentals than their latest hot offer. Hot offers are important but when there isn’t a solid foundation, they will keep you in a dogged chase for short-term cash.
Bold leadership is very much about the long game. It’s about having the courage to stay in your own lane, doing the unsexy things consistently and build a business that’s as unique as you are
Bold Leadership is for anyone who desires more.
You may want an extraordinary life, a thriving business. You may want to work, live, and play full out and if you're anything like my clients, you want it now.
You lack patience.
You want exponential growth, you want your quantum leaps, accelerated results, a world-class business. This is the language that you speak. You are competitive and ambitious and you want to test the limits of your potential and really, that's what bold leadership is here to help you do.
Except BOLD LEADERSHIP is about learning how to balance your insatiable drive with results that are sustainable and HEALTHY.
So those feelings of overload, too many irons in the fire, like you're being spread too thin, frustration, procrastination, we need to make these a thing of the past because that is not how we do things here at The Bold Leadership Revolution.
We say goodbye to resistance, burnout, and the belief that success needs to be hard or painful. It's actually quite simple. It's about leadership and it's not about any kind of leadership. This isn't about titles or money or credentials or followers or social media likes. This is about bold leadership and it starts within each of us.
It's about bringing your whole self, who you really are, to the forefront of your business and your life. I want you to feel like you have never been more you in your entire life. Bold leadership is about channeling your ambition, cultivating your courage, finding your focus, standing firmly for your values and your vision. Bold leadership is about creating and executing consistently, taking intentional action, personal responsibility. Some of my favorite words that I align with bold leadership are things like space and ease and flow and gratitude and soul and intuition. Bold leadership is about trusting the process so if these are words and concepts that really resonate with you, that you are curious about, that you want to know more than you are definitely in the right place.
Now, I want to talk a little bit about bold because here's how I see bold. Bold isn't loud. Loud is noise, okay? Bold is quiet and unwavering. Bold is effective. Bold doesn't have to be big. Bold is knowing the next best move for you.
Taking a single bold action a day is what you need to create unrelenting forward progress in your life and career.
Bold is about those incremental steps that lead to BIG change. Bold is making progress when it’s imperceptible.
Bold is loving the process more than you love the outcome.
Bold is about choosing everyday performance in all aspects of your life over overachieving in just your work life.
Bold is KNOWING what is most important to you and focusing on THAT. Not chasing down the goals of other people.
I always tell my clients “I don’t care what your goals are or how much money you want to make. I only care that you achieve the goal that YOU desire.”
Now, most of the people who need to embrace bold leadership also fall into a category I refer to as “go it aloners” -- the lone wolf.
High achievers have a number of habits or default behaviors. Their favorite is isolation.
They tend to isolate when they don’t feel successful. Except high achievers rarely feel successful because their success never feels like enough. They don’t stop and celebrate so they spend lots of time feeling like a fraud or failure which keeps them isolating.
Except there is tremendous power in numbers!
I’ve spent most of my career isolating and I’m fairly certain it’s one of the reasons why I burned out.
Yesterday I had a great example of the power of surrounding yourself with other leaders.
I was at the gym and after a long workout, I had to do some rope climbs. I was tired, my core, shoulders, and legs were fatigued. So, naturally, my mindset was started to devolve. I would stop just short of the target.
The last rope climb I determined I absolutely WILL make it to the top. As I started to climb another athlete noticed. He was lounging on a box located at the bottom of the rope. He stood up and put his eyes on my back. You got this, Tara he encouraged as I climbed further than before. As I reached my target I shrieked with excitement and he said ‘good job’. His eyes didn’t leave me until I was down from the rope safely.
I happened to get the entire thing on video and it amazed me when I watched it back.
He literally STOOD UP for me.
He had my back.
He said my name.
He encouraged me.
He celebrated me.
These are all characteristics of a great leader. Even though I’m a leader. Heck, I’m the leader of leaders. I STILL NEEDED SOMEONE ELSE’S LEADERSHIP. Leaders need to surround themselves with other leaders.
That is a guiding principle behind all of my programs and services. How can I bring leaders together and facilitate a powerful community that can learn, lead, and life together?
It’s why I’ve created The BRAVE Society where the B stands for BOLD.
The BRAVE Society is A virtual society for business owners like you who want to connect with bold, resilient, abundant, value-driven and endurable leaders.
It’s filled with business owners across a variety of industries who knows that the person who helps the most people wins.
We are here for three reasons:
To build meaningful relationships with an army of people who have real, credible, and valuable business acumen. This isn’t tit for tat networking where it’s a referral pitch fest.
To help you continually develop yourself as a leader through high-quality educational resources to help us become better CEO’s
To become leaders who develop more leaders in the world -- your family, friends, community, team.
The BRAVE Society is a place where you can plug into the relationships you need to hire the most qualified people, find meaningful collaborations, and offer your services to those who would benefit the most.
The BRAVE Society hosts
Quarterly Book Clubs
Robust Panel Discussions on relevant topics to help you grow yourself and your business.
Bi-Weekly CEO Debriefs where I take you behind the scenes in my life + business where you can see what’s working, what’s not working, key decisions I’m making.
If you're curious to know if you’re a fit for this community, head on over to the show notes to learn more. For a full transcript of this episode, got to theboldleadershiprevolution.com.
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Be sure to tune into our next episode to help you embrace your ambition and leave the grind behind.
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