Recovering from a Confidence Crushing Mistake

Hey Bold Leaders. Welcome to The Bold Leadership Revolution Podcast where we train leaders to have the endurance to make an impact.

You know that stomach churning, sweaty palmed feeling of a business failure or bad decision? Not great for moving forwards in your business, right?

Your confidence takes a big old hit, and getting back on track can seem like a long way off.

Have you ever wished you could just move on already?

Recovering from a Confidence Crushing Mistake

As leaders and business owners it’s important to be able to return to our badass selves as quickly as possible because our businesses need us to be bold, visible and valuable to others.

But let’s face it, we are imperfect and leadership is messy.

We are human and fallible.

We make mistakes, bad decisions, and even colossal failures (raises hand!).

We have all taken the nightmare project, worked with a less than ideal client, undervalued our services or taken a risk that didn’t pan out.

As leaders the fall out can result in uncomfortable conversations, loss of income, and some sleepless nights.

But what lies beneath the surface is what we really need to look at. What about:

  • Those lingering feelings of failure and shame?

  • The hit to our self-confidence?

  • The lack of trust in ourselves, our plan, and other people?

  • The temporary or not so temporary loss in the unshakeable faith we need to succeed?

When we experience these feelings of failure, lack of self-confidence, lack of self-trust, and loss of faith then we start to:

  • Hide our gifts for fear they are no longer valuable.

  • Question every decision we make until no decisions are being made.

  • Don’t believe our offers, products, and services are truly what people need.

  • Start to compare ourselves to others.

And THE MOST dangerous thing that can happen is we start to see things through a victim mindset.

When we make a mistake or experience a failure, it’s important to see it for what it is…

A test of your Bold Leadership.

We have two choices when faced with failures and perceived setbacks.

We can play the victim.

OR

We can lead boldly.

And here’s the truth:

Victimhood and leadership are mutually exclusive.

You can’t play the victim and lead.

When you start to see things in your business through the lens of “to me” as in this mistake or failures is happening “to me”, you have given your power away.

Committing to standing in your power requires practice and a go to routine for when you’re feeling the stress of a failure weighing you down.

But, how can you move past the lack of confidence, self-trust issues and crisis of faith so you can start believing in value again?

With my 6 step process for moving past a confidence crushing mistake.

  1. Awareness. Never underestimate the power of awareness. It’s the first step in letting something go and releasing attachment to the result. Create the awareness that the result you received is feedback for your actions taken not for you as a person.

  2. Feel it. It’s ok to feel the feelings -- the hurt, disappointment, sadness, frustration, etc. However, be cautious of the language you use when speaking to yourself. High achievers like to beat themselves up, blame, shame, and judge themselves harshly. There is no need for that.

  3. Accept what has happened. When we can accept the situation for what it is a lot of those icky feelings fade away.

  4. Take responsibility. What do you need to do to take ownership of what happened? It might be a tough conversation, an apology, or some other amends that needs to be made. Sometimes it’s as simple as saying “I take responsibility for the way this project turned out.”

  5. Forgiveness. Forgiveness is a powerful tool to help us move on and let go. Journal about the situation, the people involved, and the role you played. Forgive yourself and the others involved.

  6. Let it go. I like mantras to help me move forward. Try one of these: I choose now to let this go or Now is the perfect time to let this go.

Wanna try these six steps?

Find a quiet place and pull out a journal. Take 20 minutes to work through the steps. You can repeat this process as many times as you need to.

Powerful conversations like this are what is happening inside The BRAVE Society.

The BRAVE Society was designed for female small business owners who want to be discerning with their dollars or are feeling like their investments have them spread thin. Too often I see women investing in #allthethings to grow their businesses but completely short change their leadership.

The Brave Society is community AND the right leadership development to help you run your business and thrive as an owner, CEO, or founder (whatever you call yourself).

We will keep you focused, help you stay accountable and ask you the challenging questions to help you move through your all the ways you’re blocking your own success.

If you want to join us for our bi weekly CEO Debriefs, monthly panel discussions and quarterly laser coaching sessions, apply today or find me on Instagram @thetaranewman.

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Special thanks go to Stacey Harris of Uncommonly More, she and her team are the producer and editor of this podcast. Go check them out for all your digital marketing and content creation needs.

Be sure to tune into our next episode to help you embrace your ambition and leave the grind behind.

Important links to share:

Listen in on CEO Debriefs and Get 10 BOLD Questions for your own debrief.

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Tara Newman